Before Me
by Lonewritersclub
Summary: Jealous of Edward for having Bella? No, wrong. Jealous of Bella for having Edward? Yes. Jealousy is such a strong word, but also a strong feeling. It can succumb other feelings, like love. And when you strip away the impossible there's only the truth. So step aside Bella. I'm here for Edward. Some OOC.
1. Admitting

I saw him. Him and Bella. But who cares about Bella? Seriously. I can't even image how she could be as important as him.

They were standing by the brick wall of the Swan's driveway that divided apartments from each other. His modest, silver colored car was parked next to them. They were talking to each other, but it soon stopped, when I rushed from the woods that was behind the Swan's house. They looked strangely at me. Probably because of my unexplained rush and my intense look that I was giving to him.

And she thought I was there for her so she walked closer to me and in front of Edward with questioning eyes. "Jacob. Why are you here?" she asked sounding annoyed. I would have rolled my eyes of her smugness, but I couldn't care about giving her any attention. I had already wasted too much attention to her by now and she didn't deserve any more.

I was only a meter away from them and I didn't stop my course there. "Step aside, Bella", I ordered and not giving a second glance to her direction as she moved away from where I was heading. I might have poked her a bit too, but she didn't fall, so it was alright.

All I could see was him and only him. Every cell of my body was getting pulled to him. It hurt not to be close to him. I needed to touch him. I needed him in my life, more than as an enemy. More than as a just a person in the world. More than just as a friend.

His bright, golden eyes looked bewildered and confused. He could hear my thoughts so easily, but now he just couldn't comprehend them. It was all so sudden and odd to him that even his brilliant, sophisticated and beautiful mind turned upside down. My love was too strong for him. And it would devour him completely to it's warm and safe, soft blanket.

"Jake", he said under his breath with his absolutely charming, velvet voice, as I quickly put my arms under his own, to his back steadily, so he wouldn't have the time to pull away. I gently pulled him closer to my chest and then carefully placed my hot lips to his cold and perfect ones. I caressed him as he just stood there under my love.

I could have sworn his skin got warmer and softer. Or maybe it just changed from my changed view. He didn't answer be back. My darling was just too shocked right now. I understood that. I was still a little bit too. But he would adjust to it soon. He had to. There was no other choice for either of us. It would be alright.

He basically melted in my strong, big arms. I was now the only thing making him stand as I was holding him up from the ground. I ended our delicious kiss gently. His eyes were closed and marvelous even, when I couldn't see them open. I could swear he liked it. And he enjoyed it as much as I did.

His now limp body let his graceful head slowly land against my chest. I placed a kiss on his glorious head that was covered with magnificent locks of the unique color of bronze hair. A bit of careful red, some darker and blonder locks of brown. And more of golden and bronze hair sticking out in every direction.

And it was so soft. Like the most finest silk. I kind of wanted to rub my face against it, but I wasn't that noticeable to Bella. She was already greatly offended.

I loved how he felt against my body. How he needed me so much right now and how I could offer him myself. He would fall down indeed if it wasn't for me. I turned my loving gaze from him just for a while that I could explain Bella. She still needed answers. This just had been more important and it needed come first.

"Bella. Nice to see you. But as you might see, it was actually Edward who I was looking for right now", I joked a bit with a grin. She looked absolutely plain to me now days. I did not know what I had seen in her that made me think she was the one for me and then just put Edward away, when he was the entire purpose of my existence. The entire purpose of the world. At least it was like that for me.

Bella looked terrified and shocked. "W-what? What just happened? Jacob, let Edward go! What did you do to him?" Bella was screaming at the end of her words.

"Bella, I kissed him. I love him", I told her honestly. Edward laid in my arms peacefully. Just the way he should. "What?" But Bella just didn't get it.

"Remember when I told you about imprinting?" I asked her in way that she really should remember. "Well... But. Jacob! Edward? Really? No, no, no... What?" She sounded so very miserable now that I actually felt sorry for her. "I'm sorry Bella. It's true", I confirmed.

"I-I-I I'm going to fight for him, Jake! I won't let him go that easily. His mine." God, she was crying now. But at least it wasn't those damn desperate tears that she always used to get her blase ways. Now the tears were full of fight and possession. That's more like it. Though the fight will be easy. She stepped towards Edward as to rip him away from me. That wasn't going to happen.

"Bella, don't hurt yourself like that. You won't win. When he can get the utter love he deserves no matter what from me, why would he ever want to be with you?" I asked theoretically. Bella shook her head in disbelief. "No, no... I give him love. He loves me. Don't you Edward? Honey, you love me right? More than Jacob? You two were enemies to each other just a few minutes ago. You won't leave me for him", Bella tried with strained voice. She walked closer to us. Edward was resuscitating.

He opened his eyes. And now me and Bella were both completely baffled.

His eyes were the most amazing color of bright Emerald Green.

And there was a heart pumping the most wonderful sound. It was no human. No, no. The heartbeat was too fast to be human's. But he was no vampire either. He was actually softer and warmer against my touch. So I wasn't imagining it all.

He was the love and much more of my life now, but what _else_ was he as well? Whatever it was made a tension that I didn't know existed yet, go away. I only felt love and peace inside of me and nothing more. I felt complete.

My mouth was hanging open and so was Bella's. Edward's intense gaze collected me from the pieces of awe. And he definitely didn't look angry. He hugged me back with a faint smile. I uttered a laugh of excitement that he wanted me too. Well I turned him human even, or to whatever he was now, and that made him even more special.

Sorry Bella. I think it's over for you two. He's _mine_ now. I could see it from him. "I'm sorry, Bella", he said looking at her apologizing, but still hanging onto me.

Bella broke into tears. That made Edward detach himself from me and went to Bella and wrap his long arms around her. She clanged onto him and I got jealous. I just got him and now he was back to her.

I could also see he wasn't quite settled-in to his now new working body he hadn't had for decades. She was crushing him down without noticing. He winced.

"Easy Bella", I pleaded going after him and helping him stand. He looked thankfully at me, but went back to comfort Bella.

"I'm sorry, Bella. I don't know what's happening. I'm sorry. Can we talk about this inside? Please?" Edward asked. "To the living room. But I don't want Jacob. Not yet", Bella said. I was really getting pissed off from her. But she glared at me too.

"Bella, I'm sorry too. Kind of. But there's no way around this. I've imprinted. To Edward", I told her just so she would stop crying. But the constant sniffing was even more annoying. "And go get a tissue Bella", I said to her as she finally let go off Edward. I got another glare.

She took Edward's hand and both of them went inside. "Can you wait here a moment Jake?" Edward turned around by the door as he asked with a caring expression. At least he still remembered and paid attention to me if Bella didn't who had already went inside.

"Yeah, I think so. I'll be right here waiting for you until you're done", I said. He smiled at me and I melted all the way to my bones. He closed the door behind them and I slumped down to sit on the stairs of the porch. "Love you", I muttered in the air knowing he would still hear me. And soon I heard a quiet "you too" back. A warm and fuzzy feeling conquered me. Even with my body aching to get close to him, I was felt better than I had ever been before. All because of him.

* * *

I'm doing Jakeward. Yes! I hope you liked it. Though I know it's not the best you can have.

Tell me if you want more in the reviews. I know I need to move forward with everything else too, but I can't help myself from starting new ones too.


	2. Farewell

I went inside the house with Bella. She had tears rolling down her cheeks and she looked bitter. She sat down onto the sofa which possessed some crumbs all over it. I smelled their horrible smell and there was tomato sauce mixed to it. It was from an old pizza without a doubt. I remember Charlie ordered pizza about a week ago, when Bella said that she was too tired to cook anything. And Charlie just didn't know how to cook.

But of course Bella had to be more important to me than a few, or a lot of pizza crumbs and so I could focus on her.  
Still the crumbs bothered me more than they had before.

"Breath", I instructed with a gentle voice and her body that wrecked from the sobs which never seemed to end. "It's going to be fine, Bella. Calm down", I told her and and stroked her back up- and down.

"You and Jacob!" she breathed and yelled at the same time incredulously and threw her arms up in the air for a second.

"Bella, I don't know what happened. I think it's the kiss that changed everything. And I heard what he thought about me and how much he loves me, I couldn't help but feel the same about him. I even changed physically too. I'm sorry, Bella. I didn't mean to. Definitely like that in front of you", I tried to tell her and make her look at me and see how serious I was.

I heard Jacob growled suddenly after I said it and searched his thoughts quickly to know why.

_You don't need to apologize Bella for loving me. It's nothing you can do about it. We're stuck together, she liked it or not._

Jacob said in his mind as he would know that I would read him at the right moment. He could be right, but it doesn't matter. Me and Bella as us has been over three years. I'm the first one she has ever loved as she is mine. We were in love just a couple of minutes ago. I think I still love her. Just not as deeply as I do for Jacob. But I realise I love Bella as much as I have loved her before, but still I love Jacob more deeply. And we had been enemies a couple of minutes ago too. It was all so odd.

"Edward, I see that you love each other. It's reads all over you", she says through her tears that are starting to tame down. I keep stroking her back comfortingly and she presses against my side. She doesn't feel as warm as she usually has, when she touches me. It must be, because I feel warmer in myself too.

Even though I'm the one comforting Bella, I think I'm the most lost from everyone. I don't know what had just happened to me really. I don't know what will be.

"And you don't have be sorry for that. Love is a natural and a good thing, but it doesn't mean it won't hurt sometimes. I still love you. Maybe because I haven't found the right person then. I have to have someone else there for me too if you did. But I wouldn't be so sure. I hope there's fate then", she says. She's starting to understand and being warm like she usually is.

"Bella, I still love you too", I admit to her and she looks straight into my eyes in wonder. I hope Jacob won't mind. "I love you as I've always have. But I can't help, but feel the same way with Jacob now and... I love him a little more", I tell her sorry in my voice. I touch her cheek tenderly and dry some of the tears on her pale skin. She shivers from my touch and pushes herself to my hand. "I'll always love you too Edward. Even if I met someone else too... Oh, you're warmer", she states and closes her eyes for a second.

We stay like that for a couple of minutes. Then she asks kind of awkwardly: "So you are... bi?" I consider laughing, but I see that there's no reason for it. What if I am? That wouldn't even matter really. But I've never felt something like this from a male. But I don't think that I even see Jacob like that. I don't mean I don't see that he's a guy. I obviously see that he is a male.

"I don't know. I just feel that he just happens to be an individual, a creature that I love more than anything else. I don't understand it yet and I'm not sure what to make of it. But I know I have to", I tell her honestly. She nods compassionately. "It's gonna be alright", she says and feel for me too.

"I need to go now, Bella. To sort this all out now. I don't even know what I am right now", I let her know and we both stand up. My legs feel a little shaky and it's very strange. Maybe I'm some kind of hybrid of a vampire and a human? "Okay. But keep in touch right?" Bella asks warily, when we get to the front-door. I look at her and move some of her brown locks from her face behind her ear.

"Of course. As I said, I still love you and I don't want to lose you, because of this. We would just be friends?" I tell her and raise my brows. She stares at me attentively and waiting. I lower my head little and cup her cheek with my hand and bring her face closer to mine. She moves herself forward and also cups my face between her hands. The tension is building up.

We kiss. For the final time. It's soft, longing and understanding. There's no longer _us_. But there is a deep and a very important friendship instead. And I feel that it's fine.

I leave the house and go to Jacob who's standing impatiently on the porch. He takes my hand in his that wraps around mine completely and makes it look very small. He looks at me attentively. And then he kisses me passionately. He owns me now and makes me see that. And I do. There's no worry. I don't want to be anyone's else's.


	3. Doubts

Edward

We hopped into my car without saying a word about what had just happened between Bella and me. I think he knows why I kissed her and that's why he isn't mad at me. In a way it didn't mean anything, but at the same time it meant so much. It was the farewell kiss to my relationship with Bella. I do feel sorrowful about it, but I've got Jacob now. He was who I needed the most now. I hope she finds someone good enough for her, better than I was. She deserves it.

"I guess I should go home now. But do you want to come or shall I drive you to your home too?" I asked sheepishly. I kept my eyes on the steering wheel and fiddled my hands in my lap. I honestly didn't really know what to do. Jacob had broken the treaty already, but would it be okay to do it again? It shouldn't matter, right? Or would that start a war between shape sifters and vampires? I was insecure about these questions, because they could change everything.

"I don't know if I can be apart from you for longer than that when you were with Bella, so I would quite like to come as well. If I won't bother your family with my being", he said bluntly. He didn't seem minded about any of this. It annoyed me a little.

"Jacob, have you told your own family about this? That you imprinted. On me." I think it was fair enough for me to ask that. I was a bit afraid of what he might answer, but I knew that the wolfs couldn't kill a wolf's imprint even if they hated her or him. Though what if they will make an exception with me being a vampire or a half vampire and all? What if they hurt or threaten my family because of this? What if they are already on their way to kill us? Oh no... That mustn't happen.

"I haven't told them yet. I'm not sure how to tell them really. But I know I have to though what difference will it really make. I mean they can't really do anything about it. Sure, they can resent me for it, but they know it's not by choice. It will just happen if it does. Edward, hey, are you okay? You're look so pale. Are you hyperventiling?" he asked concerned and reached his hot hand for my shoulder. I felt his worried gaze, but I couldn't say anything to help.

I actually felt kind of hurt, because of what he said about 'he can't choose who he imprints to. It just happens'. It sounded like he would never ever choose to be with me if he wasn't forced to. I was so disgusting to him, but he couldn't see it anymore because all of this imprinting haze in front of his eyes. I feel like it's all fake. He doesn't love me by choice. He doesn't want to love me. He is forced to. But I love him, he changed me. The used to be disguise of being "attractive" as a vampire still was with me. It just changed it's form. No one would love me just because.

I'm so confused. Kind of disturbed really. And I'm hyperventilating that I have never done before. I need to get out of the car feeling suddenly crowded, so I jump out and walk to the red brickwall and lean my forehead against the coolness of it and shut my eyes. I try to ease my breathing and relax, but it seems impossible. I too stressed over what might happen from this fake love Jacob has for me now. I feel so stupid. I should leave him, he doesn't really want me. He just feel like that, but it isn't truth.

I hear Jacob coming after me he stops beside me, but doesn't try to touch me. "Ed, what's wrong? Why are you so uptight?" he asks dumly. "What do you think is wrong?!" I shout and confront him with a angry face before thinking. He doesn't deserve to be shouted at, because really I'm shouting at myself. Jacob is taken aback and looks little scared. But mostly he is still concerned.

"Sorry", I apologize in a tiny voice right after and he relaxes again. I wish I could relax too. "It's fine. But Edward I will tell them, okay? It's no problem. All I need is you. Please tell me what's wrong?" he asks again and comes closer and this time touches my shoulder. I feel a pull to nuzzle myself against him and have him wrap his strong arms around me and keep me safe from the cruel world. It's strange and I fear it, but I know it'd be alright then. But I can't do that. He doesn't want me. I shouldn't make him.

_"Edward?" _he calls me in his thoughts. I've been silent for whole two minutes and haven't answered him. "Sorry", I apologize again and stare at the ground. "I'm just thinking that... maybe this is all fake. I mean, you wouldn't love me if you wouldn't have imprinted on me, right? So you shouldn't have to endure being with me just because of it. I love you, don't get me wrong, but that's why I'm ready to let you go. You could, you should get someone better. This, it's just not right for you", I tell him. My eyes are stinning. Then they become watery. Oh my God, I am crying. Finally, I think. Finally I can cry all the tears I have wanted to shed my whole vampire life, but couldn't do it then. But I can't do so now either. Not in front of Jacob.

"What? Edward. I. _Love_. You. It's not just that I imprinted on you, it was when I finally realized what feelings I really had for you. I was so jealous that I didn't see it. I was jealous of Bella for having you, but I thought it was the other way around, because I didn't know I would ever fancy_ guys_. Though you will be the lady in this relationship", he joked a bit with a smirk, but continued on seriously. "No, but Edward, you gotta believe me. You hear my mind, you know that I'm speaking the truth. Don't try to avoid it. I love you Edward, imprinting aside. You or I can't do anything about it. And it's wonderful that you love me too. But it's _you_ who kind of has to, because I imprinted on you. I already loved you before I realized it and when I turned seventeen and this whole imprinting got possible, it only got stronger", he tells me and makes me look in his dark chocolate eyes with his hand that lifts my chin. He's so handsome...

And I hear him in his mind too. His entire being is speaking the words the tells me. It's so powerful I feel wobbly in my legs. I began to believe him, but I'm not sure if I should. I try to resist the eye-contact which would do it, but I don't want to. I look deeply straight into his eyes and lose myself. "Jacob", I breath shakily and my body starts tremble in front of him. What is this? I don't understand what's wrong with me. I think I just might lose my balance...

OOO

I blink rapidly at first and try to focus my eyes so I could see something through the fogginess that covers them. What happened? Did I just faint? It's unbelievable. I've never had that either.

I'm getting aware of where I am with each second passing by. And I'm a little surprised to say at least. Or maybe I shouldn't be. Alice probably already saw this. But no, she couldn't because Jacob was with me, because she couldn't see the future past him. So Jacob had to brought me here. Into a house full of "bloodsuckers". Is he okay?

I get up to a sitting position and support myself with my hands on the bed I have been lying on. My throat aches and feels like sandpaper. It burns when I swallow. But it isn't like when I was a vampire. Or full one. I really need some kind of definition for my condition. I suppose I'm thirsty. Not for blood, but water.

I look around me and find myself in Jasper and Alice's room. Oh, yeah, because my room doesn't have a bed, but they do because... You get my drift.  
And now I need to get up. I feel fatigue, but I really don't want to lay on their bed any longer than I have to. But where is everyone?

I cannot even finish my thoughts before everyone, including Jacob, have surrounded me on the bed. I don't see their running so clearly than I had before. They all look at me worriedly. I hear them too, but most of them are keeping their thoughts quiet. Though Carlisle asks me _"Son, can you hear me?" _Jacob hasn't told him then. Do they even know about us?

"Yes", I answer him with rugged voice. I coff awkwardly into my hand, but then Alice gives me a glass of water. I thank her and drink it greedily. It helps my throat and it's less unpleasant to speak. And I guess there are a lot of questions I need to answer now.

"Can someone please tell me what the heck is going on? And why is that dog in here and spreading his awful stink all over the house? It's gonna take weeks before it'll fade off" Rosalie ask rudely and gives Jacob the eye. It maddens me and I want to yell Rosalie to stop her vain accuses.

"Rosalie", I plead instead and she retrieves her golden eyes back to me and they turn concerned. "I figure Jacob hasn't told anything yet?" I enquire raising my brows. But I hear from Jacob's mind that he hasn't. Also he shows that he's deeply worried about me. He shows me how he catched me before I hit the ground and carried me into the car. Then he drove to my home and met six golden, confused gazes. I feel bad for him that he had to do that.

"Should we tell them then?" I suggest. We need to do so anyway. Better earlier than too late. Jacob's skin turns paler and he looks little afraid, but nods then surely. "I imprinted on Edward this morning", Jacob says abruptly and all gazes turn back to him immediately. A few hisses escape from some and Jacob growels right back.

"Hey, easy! Easy! It's fine. It's fine. I-I, I love him too", I tell them. My family relaxes a hint from my words, but turn tense from bewilderment."Son, are you...?" he looks at me troubled. "We need to talk. Soon. But now I need to know if you okay? I get from Jacob that you fainted at Bella's driveway, but also you're half-human, half-vampire now?"

"Well, I don't really know _what _I am either, but I hoped maybe you could help me with that firstly", I ask and run a hand through my hair. Why does this all have to happen in one day? I feel exhausted already.

Esme sits beside me and takes a hold of my hand. I hear jealousness from Jacob's thoughts loudly, but he knows he can't really do that himself. Many would not be pleased about it. Though I wouldn't mind, but I want to keep Jacob in one piece.

"Dear, you fainted. Maybe you should get something to eat and drink. I can make something for you both", Esme offers and gives a quick, but warm glance to Jacob's way. "Thank you", I reply and give a smile to her and her face lights up.

"That's a wise idea. I'll talk to Edward while you go make that. _Privately_", Carlisle gives everyone a look and they exit the room, but Rosalie makes frustrated sigh before doing so. Jacob looks patriffed. Esme pats my hand and looks symphanitely at me before leaving also. She and Jacob leave at the same time and that comforts Jacob a little. But he's still worried about me. I smile at him to make him see I'll be alright.

Then there is only Carlisle and me. He takes Esme's place on the bed. I lean my back against the headboard.

"Could you please tell me what happened? Right from the start", he asks. He puts his hand on my leg trying to comfort and ease my tension I have for this talk.

I sigh first and then begin: "I was with Bella in front of the house. Then suddenly Jacob came running towards us. I heard his thoughts, but they confused me so much I couldn't react fast enough. And then he... kissed me. I kind of lost myself in that and while doing so I changed. I got a heartbeat. Jacob told me he imprinted on me. I couldn't help but love him back then. Bella was still there. I went with her inside the house and explained the situation to her. She understood it. Afterwards I got all suspicious about the whole thing and thought Jacob didn't really want me. He just felt like he had to because he imprinted on me. But he convinced me that he loved me before imprinting even happened. He just was too jealous of Bella for having me, but thinking of it the other way and couldn't see past it. Anyway the way he spoke to me just overwhelmed me and I guess I fainted."

After my long explanation Carlisle just looks more puzzled. "Do you love him, Edward? Do you really love him? Because you don't have to even if he imprinted on you, you know that. We will help you and do whatever it takes to keep you safe", he tells me and looks at me worried. "I do love him and it doesn't feel like I have to. Those feelings came up with him imprinting on me too. But what I'm curious about is what I am now."

He turns his head straight and stares at the wall in front of him. He gulps and furrows his brows that they knit together. His massages my leg gently for his own sake of comfort. I don't mind, but I would definitely like some answer from him. Though it seems he doesn't have one.

"I don't know _what _you are now, son. I think I need to make some examinations on you and maybe I can find some information based on the results", he hums and turns his gaze back to me. "But it will be alright, I think. What about Jacob? Has he told his family about this? Do they know he has broken the treaty?" he asks and I can only answer with a head shake. "No, he hasn't. But he'll do so soon enough", I promise on my behalf too. I'll tell his family if he doesn't have the guts to do it himself. Though I doubt that. I just think they need to know. If they get to know about this themselves, they might think we've been trying to hide it from them and they will get mad at us. What might happen then?

"I think Esme has your meal ready. Go eat with Jacob. After that he can go tell his family and I will do the tests with you. Then we need to do some talking with the others. Look what we can do about this situation. Obviously you too can't be apart for long. When you fainted Jacob wouldn't leave you alone for a second. But I told him that you'd be asleep before becoming conscious after passing out, and you would need the rest in peace. Especially with your mind-reading ability, you might need some space to get sleep. I think he will be good for you, even though it is early to say. But he does care for you a lot."

What Carlisle tells me really warms my heart. I smile involuntary and almost flush which is also very odd with a long time not doing so. Carlisle helps me get up from the bed and I shake my stiff legs while taking support from him that he kindly gives. We head downstairs to the kitchen where Jacob is already eating his meal of some greens and pasta. I take a seat opposite to him where Esme has placed my plate. I thank her with a smile and sit down.

"I've got a plan for us", I tell Jacob and he rises his head from his food to look at me questioningly. And I tell him what we're going to do.

* * *

Sorry it took so long. But I hope you will be happy with this chapter. I will try to make a new one faster than this, but I can't promise anything really. Sorry.


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